hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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