oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
