At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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