In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize