A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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