i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
