it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
