Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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