Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
