1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
