You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
