I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
