someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
