That's when you crack a 10am beer
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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