I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
