We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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