maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
