Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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