Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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