i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
