butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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