the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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