Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
