I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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