Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sext me about skeletons
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
