Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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