the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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