i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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