I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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