There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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