last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
should my penis look like a turkey
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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