found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
