Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
