this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
