What did we do last night that was yellow?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
