ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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