perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
