Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
