he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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