So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
