going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
