They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
