Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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