you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize