DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize