I need help removing her.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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