guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
