when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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