just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
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