thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
