Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
People in love make me want to vomit
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
