Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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