I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize