Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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