fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
