did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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