What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
