Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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