I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
