I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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